Friday Five: Five Fake Patch Notes That Shoulda Been Real

I'm a smidge tardy with this week's Friday Five, thanks to having spent the better part of the week out of town. But I did get home in time to see some of Blizzard's April Fool's handiworks. And thius, this week's five:

  1. Appearance tab.
    Acknowledging the continued requests of our players, an Appearance tab has been added to the game! The Appearance tab will finally, at long last, allow players to customize the look of their non-combat pets. Simply summon a non-combat pet and use the Appearance tab to change its look to that of any of the other non-combat pets you own. Summon, customize, and play!
    NOTE: of course, we'd *really* like to see this come true for characters, not pets, but still.
  2. Acknowledgement that there's not a lot of choice in the talent trees.
    Talents are now automatically chosen for a player based on the main specialization chosen.
  3. Super herber status.
    Druids now perform an area-of-effect knockback when harvesting herbs, looting, or skinning (does not remove Flight Form).
    NOTE: none of my druids are herbers, mind you, but this would be too funny.
  4. Mirror images now more magey.
    In addition to their current spells, mage Mirror Images now can randomly cast Frost Nova, Ring of Frost, Portal: Dalaran, and Mirror Image. Mirror Images summoned by Mirror Images can also cast Mirror Image. Mirror Images summoned by Mirror Images that are summoned by Mirror Images can also cast Mirror Images. Mirror Images that are summoned by Mirror Images that are summoned by Mirror Images that are summoned by Mirror Images…
  5. Priest class conversion.
    Evangelism now has a 2% chance to convert all surrounding party members to the priest class.

BONUS: Female warlocks are now correctly called witches.

What were your favorites?

10 thoughts on “Friday Five: Five Fake Patch Notes That Shoulda Been Real”

  1. “Players in capital cities will receive a 2-hour debuff “Homebody” that increases damage taken and reduces damage and healing given by 10% for every 10 minutes they’re within city limits. We hope this encourages something.”
    This. Players need to GTFO of the major cities. And they should do something besides sitting on their flying mount hovering over the AH/bank. They make my FPS dive bomb and my computer (and me) scream. :/

  2. The part about paladin chat and whispers having sparkles was pretty funny.
    Loved that they were changing the spelling of rogue to “rouge.”

  3. *Druid forms are now considered vehicles, allowing one player to ride on the druid’s back while in any form, even their humanoid form.
    *Whenever 2 or more warlocks or witches appear in a raid together, the damage dealt by any mages in the raid decreases by 5%. This effect stacks up to 5 times.
    *All mage spells that deal Fire damage now appear green.
    *All Shadow priest spells that deal Fire damage now appear green.
    I also loved “draeneie.” Haha, I always have issues remembering how to spell that.

  4. My favorite was the one about rogues being changed to rouge because people cannot spell it correctly AND having the rest of the patch notes refer to rogues as rouges

  5. It’s funny, because I didn’t actually notice all the ones folks noted here — different things stick out on each reading/to each person. Love it!

  6. I would just be happy if they’d allow everything that they have in Orgrimmar in all of the major cities. That would let people pick the one they like best. I hate, hate, HATE having to be in Orgrimmar all the time – I much prefer Thunder Bluff and I know others have their preferences too.

  7. I don’t know Glog, that would mean all paladins would also have a free sparkle pony, and you know how everyne gets about sparkle ponies…

  8. It’s hard to choose! The “patch note” list made for April 1st was full of win from the first letter at the top of the page to the last punctuation mark at the bottom. Personal Shaman-related favorites though?
    “The Elemental tree is now the Elementary tree, and allows use of new abilities Eat Paste, Nap Time, and the Macaroni and Glitter Totem.”
    “A healing tree has been added for shaman.”

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